


No Time To Mourn

by Kolivans (arka_r)



Series: tumblr drabbles [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Death Rituals, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Pack Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 00:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10752564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arka_r/pseuds/Kolivans
Summary: Kolivan prepares cremation ritual for Antok – his brother, friend, brother-in-arms, lover.Post-S2, kinda canon-compliant.





	No Time To Mourn

After they defeated Zarkon, after Princess Allura hastily wormholed them back to the Known Universe and things settled down a little bit, Kolivan found himself unable to sleep.

 

They weren’t in immediate danger. The five Paladins were exhausted down to their cores, but they were alive and in high spirits. The Castle of Lions was damaged during the battle, but the Altean Advisor –Coran– told them all he would be working on it. They were practically limping through the space, unable to wormhole back to the Blade of Marmora headquarters, but that was the less of Kolivan’s problems right now.

 

The Princess kindly showed Kolivan the way to a Mourning Room, before she left him alone. The room was vast, different than what he had back in the headquarters. It seemed to befit a royal burial ceremony with all its grandness. No doubt it was built ten millennia ago when the Alteans and the Galra people were still close allies.

 

Kolivan appreciated everything she’d done, really– but right now, he still felt like he was being stretched too thin, like he was going to snap from grief and sorrow.

 

Laid down on the altar was Antok’s body. Kolivan unmasked Antok as soon as the Princess left the Mourning Room, not wanting to waste more time to see the face of his beloved for the last time. When Kolivan closed Antok’s eyelids, he looked so peaceful as if he was merely asleep. That… hurt Kolivan more, somehow.

 

The severed bond in him was still fresh, like wires sparking before eventually dying. Antok was the last of Kolivan’s pack; he was a brother, a friend, a brother-in-arms, a lover. Now that Antok was gone, Kolivan felt hollow– as if someone had carved into his chest and pulled out everything in him, leaving him a lifeless husk instead of a man.

 

Gently, as if he was afraid it would break, Kolivan touched Antok’s ritual blade and keened. The memory of watching Antok die right before his eyes replayed in an endless loop; the pained shout as the damned Druid shot an energy bolt straight into Antok’s chest, his lifeless body crumpling, Kolivan desperate to reach out.

 

He knew, rationally, that he had to be prepared for this when they planned out to take down Zarkon. They were ready to make sacrifice for the greater good. However, Antok’s death was not a sacrifice. It was murder, unnecessary and brutal.

 

The excruciating pain from the severed bond was overwhelming his senses, it was too much. He felt like he was suffocating, tidal waves crashing over him and he was unable to resurface. The pain was so deep in his cores and Kolivan had the briefest moment to wonder if he would go mad from this. Without a pack, without at least one bond to keep him tethered, he was incomplete. He might as well be dead.

 

But no, he couldn’t die right now. The Blade of Marmora needed him. The Paladins needed him. They had Zarkon defeated, yes, but his Empire was still standing. There was no time for this, no time for him to mourn for a severed bound. Yes, it was torture, but he would have to endure– like he always did.

 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, he forced himself to move. Carefully, he stripped Antok off his armor. The young Red Paladin would find it more useful– he was a Blade now and Kolivan thought he was more than deserving the honor to don their armor. That was… if the young Red Paladin would accept his proposal. Kolivan wouldn’t blame him if he rejected it; the duties of being a Paladin of Voltron was hard enough as it was.

 

Kolivan put a white sheet over Antok’s body, but still left the face uncovered. He would do that, soon; but now, it was time to bid him farewell. Gently, he rested his forehead to Antok’s forehead, eyes shut.

 

“Goodbye, my dearest”, he whispered shakily.

 

The bond was silent, the last sparks had finally gone out. Kolivan keened again, forcing himself away from his brother’s body with all his might. In one swift movement, he pull the sheet over Antok’s face and pushed the pall into the crematory.

 

He didn’t have time to mourn.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually planned this for a slowburn allurivan fic, but scrapped it because i have so many wips already askjdshdga
> 
> so i edited a bit to make it more antolivan-ish ✌
> 
> go yell at me on [my tumblr](https://hello-my-stars.tumblr.com/)


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